Hey Friend,
Late evening sunset walk pondering...Somethings I continue to witness in humanity.
Individuals change in 4 different seasons; individuals will change when they HURT enough they have to.
I'm gonna share the quiet part out loud, that's often overlooked & not spoken about at all. NOT everyone is doing their best; some people are doing what's BEST for them. When you can understand & accept this from a space of acknowledgment of how uncomfortable growth & change can be. The human condition, in exchange, is one of constantly seeking out comfort & habit.
When recognizing it, you can witness it in family dynamics, friendships, collaborations, dating culture & how even individuals treat their significant other.
How individuals speak & share about friendships, even colleagues.
Some individuals HAVE WORKED very hard to figure out ways to work smarter, heal, transform & choose to be committed to self for self... to move beyond trauma identities, stigmas, projections & societal norms. Break cyclic patterns of rescuer, victim, perpetrator & martyr dynamics. Understand the ROOT cause of why they are the way they are but not be stereotyped by said roots by learning to pull the weeds to plant new healthful seeds.
Then, you'll encounter individuals who expect others to do the work for them, IM SPEAKING ABOUT THEIR OWN INNER WORK.
This is why forgiveness & grace is talked about more, written about, published & inscribed into society FIRST before accountability with intention ever is.
Someone would instead demand & have a level of spoken, even unspoken, exchange of you giving them a PASS for their exchanges. For their behavior & how it had a knock impact on you. Then be accountable to themselves for owning their life, lifestyle & all that it encompasses.
Verses them owning the role they choose to participate in the relationship where you could meet each other in reciprocal exchange built on open communication, trust & transparency.
Genuine apologies always involve changed behavior; let's be apparent change is very uncomfortable. It's NEVER for the faint of heart - but it does ALWAYS lead to a path lovingly forward.
So food for thought, if you offer help, & guidance more than once, what are you trying to control?
Could you explain to yourself unfiltered the reason or motivation behind the help being offered? To hide from your own inner work or shadow self? To project you add value or meaning to the lives of others?
Not everyone will ask for help, but that is not a green light for you to offer unsolicited advice on what someone should or shouldn't do. If someone doesn't want your help, maybe they are still processing where they are meeting themselves in that space.
Beacuse no one is really ever lost, no one is actually really finding themselves.
All humans can remove the dead wood of projections, enmeshments & ancient social constructs to stay enslaved to a life full of constrictions & contradictions.
So something I want to leave you with to ponder as we all collectively move into a new fresh year - if someone doesn't directly come to you for solicited advice - when you have the urge to share intuitive thoughts, learned wisdom, opinions, share great ideas, ask yourself this, can I hold space for this person as they are, in all they are in this now moment by completely removing my energy from this exchange?
To see someone really witness someone is the ability to love directly or indirectly without attachment to an outcome.
To witness another is acknowledging them by affirming you see them, actively hearing them, affirming you are with them - however, reminding them of the power within them to choose what's best for them.
LOVE is not a confinement of exchanges; love is loving in liberation regardless of whether you FEEL aligned with said people in your life that are resisting change.
Every time you focus on what someone else is not doing to your liking, you are in fact, continuously digesting discord & discomfort by distracting yourself from focusing on what matters most - YOUR OWN path, life & all it entails.
Can we normalize the flow of prosperity in connection as a universal law that our external findings mirror our level of inner development?
For our inner development to change, that will require continuous new levels of awareness & accountability to intention to what you are consciously choosing to feed life & what is life feeding you.
Change is never a form of punishment, it's a form of preparation for the next version of you to BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED
Love,