INTENSIONAL CONSCIOUS COUPLING - CONSCIOUS DATING 101

INTENSIONAL CONSCIOUS COUPLING - CONSCIOUS DATING 101

We are experiencing a loneliness epidemic, but not in the ways you might think.
To love is the most powerful exchange two people can share with each other.
We are not wired to walk the path alone in life, how we choose to walk the path in life with a lover, sacred beloved, or life partner is organically going to vary from individual to individual. Vastly due to the inner self-healing chosen to be explored & healed, this is a layered exchange of curious self-exploration.
One that often is spoken about in context with unrest, dichotomy & self-doubt is that healthy aligned love is even possible. I am here to share with you that it's not only possible, you can experience it too.
After mentoring hundreds of thousands of individuals & couples alike globally, the path to love is often one of the most misunderstood. Systemically from the projections of society, media & generational to ancestral observation in how "love" should be that is not actually how you love or desire to be loved.
A lot of distortion & distraction that clouds how you show up in love or allow yourself to be loved. As such the unlearning of toxic love to come to know the purity of divine love.
Maybe you identify as single & ready to mingle right now, maybe you are in the infancy of getting to know someone special this is for you.
Dating is exceptionally cathartic, its healing in so many ways. But without intention behind it, it can often get messy, fatiguing & a lot of flash in the pan romances that never seem to take traction that fizzle out before it gets started.
Our inner healing ability can only go so far in terms of healing in conscious reality by way of where we are ready, willing & open to meet ourselves as much as that in reflection to another - intimately.
The need to heal in relation to others is where conscious intensional dating kicks in. Romantic, intimate partnerships, dating is relating, dating is healing. Dating gets to be this expansive exchange shared between two individuals, its intentionality has the capacity to show you on purpose the places you have yet chosen yourself first, possibly accept about who you are & the value you hold in the world.
The reflection of owning the aspects you once told yourself or perceived were unlovable, you begin to see they are totally relatable & deeply lovable.
In the beginning - not enough importance is placed on dating intensionally - romancing with integrity & loving without attachment to outcome. Let people show you who they are, rather than you fantasizing & falling for potential.
Initially, in dating lots of planning occurs, which is part of getting to know your someone new, which often with so much planning occurring the brain & body will begin to create scenarios of falling for potential without knowing the person truly.
The attachment fast occurs due to falling in love with the idea of who someone could be then allowing the space & grace let them show you who they are & what they stand for in alignment to you, even with you.
Too many people settle, choosing partners to fill spots or roles in their lives they should be learning to self-fulfill. The moment you project a role unto an unexpected potential partner to be a certain way or love you a certain way, you are setting them & the union up for failure before its even taken flight.
This may or may not be new to you, but every time you fall for the idea of someone new it produces a chemical reaction of oxytocin thats followed suit by those future plans that activate dopamine in the body. By this point, vasopressin the bonding hormone, is wildly active, particularly if you share common struggles, life adversities or trauma wounds. You'll notice the latched-on exchange as a shared commonality, which actually masks what is going on underneath.
So as the bonding with vasopressin activation occurs which is a form of oxytocin the "love hormone" that is shared when you make love to someone, kiss, hold hands or hug it can send mixed signals to the brain, that tells you are connected to someone deeply that may or may not be entirely true.
Let me explain,
Intentionality in dating is choosing to consciously move into aligned connectivity with a new lover, or partner. You do not need to rush the process, nor do you need to place unrealistic expectations on a union before it even builds a solid foundation to thrive from.
Enmeshing yourself to someone who isn't in real alignment to you, is always a lesson on how to love yourself enough to choose a healthful, sustainable love than simply choosing a partnership for the sake of being partnered.
Unhealthy dependency is one of the most common threads in professional mentorship I witness. Whilst it's not all in romantic connectivity, vast majority of it is. Choosing your person is wanting to share your life with this person, not without deeply curiously playfully getting to know them first.
You dont need to self-abandon in order to be in a relationship; conscious coupling is choosing each other but making the self as much as a top priority as the union. Most relationships experience chaos because they lose themselves in the connection, lose their identity sense of self-worth, they stop dating each other & become complacent.
If you find yourself in a connection where you need a partner or they need you, all that is happening is the creation of bonds of self-deception, & codependency as you dont know yourself truly nor do they know themselves truly independently from the shared bond.
This often shows up when you are already moving through the connection of "building a future" without truly knowing this person & red or amber-colored flags begin to show up thick & fast. When the partner's mask slips, possibly falls away & you see the real them, you begin to make excuses for them, gaslight yourself, fool yourself into thinking they will choose you or it will get better.
Cavait - to have anyone choose you in life, you always MUST choose yourself first. Choosing yourself attracts an unencumbered love, uncomplicated love.
So here is my invitation. - lean into dating differently.
Consciously date,
90 days, for the next 90 days, give yourself full permission to get to know this person more intimately, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually before you are intimate with them.
You might be thinking that's a lot to ask to not be intimate with someone physically, but is it? Attraction is much more than between the sheets; whilst its a vital sacred exchange - your body is a temple, a sacred space. Not everyone should have access to it.
The right person wont see this as a barricade, they will see the investment as much as you see the investment in truly getting to know someone & building a connection that stems from vulnerability, alignment in values, lifestyle, visions, dreams, community, love with so much more than time between the sheets.
Physical intimacy then holds a sacred exchange when it does occur, that the union is complimented by its presence, not simply just being its only presence.
We are destined to love, its always better to love well, without attachment than to love with limitation.
Too many people fall in love with potential, we all have potential. The gap between potential & reality is aligned action in embodiment. Knowing someone's potential gifts to our lives is one thing; witnessing them to be who they truly are is where the magic really happens.
Emotional maturity is knowing not everyone is for you, but the right one will be willing to build the connection in adventurous ways that are expansive as much as intimate, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical & energetic.
Allow conscious love to lead you forward; you are worthy of the love you desire.
Date with intention.
ASHRA®

 

 

 

 

 

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