Have you ever found yourself saying to yourself, it's not that bad when it is NOT that great either...
On the ever-expanding journey of healing, we are granted a front-row view of our tolerance for trauma and the level of trauma we can endure from the life we've lived so far. This recognition is not a sign of weakness but a reflection of the parts of ourselves that still seek to come home into the wholeness that sits on the outer edges of our energetic bodies, waiting for it to be safe, emphasizing SAFE to return home into oneness.
Reparenting yourself as an adult is not just about little versions of you; it's just as much the current reality that needs the rewilding to become undone so you can create a fresh and new one, free from falsified limitations, caustic spaces, places, and chaos.
The caveat here is not to become complacent, allowing or tolerating shitty behavior, ethics, moral compass, or actions because you know how to deal with folks like this because the past has shown you how, regardless of who these folks are to you, blood-related or not.
When navigating life, as much as love and community, we navigate unentangling ourselves from wounding, trauma, or suffering generationally, intergenerationally, lifetime after lifetime. What begins to rise is that as you heal, you also start to choose people to be in your orbit at your tolerance level until you select people that dont reflect tolerance.
Let that idea simmer in your mind momentarily, like a good marinade tenderizing the meat, allowing the flavors to meld and transform.
When you witness red flags or behaviors out of sync with the moral compass in others, you continuously develop; telling yourself it's not that bad is akin to gaslighting yourself. Just because folks are better than the folks you have encountered before & you survived toxic, chaotic, traumatic encounters or existence, either by being subjected to abuse, control, manipulation, and narcissism, you develop a tolerance for when you get treated better than what you have encountered.
You can glamorize "better" behavior falsely as a projection that when you fall from grace as it occurs, you recognize that better is not good enough.
You built a false narrative about the sphere of connectivity in your life as something that it's not. Let me explain deeper,
It's about recognizing where you tolerate poor behavior, such as disrespect or manipulation; a poor attitude, like indifference or hostility; and a poor moral compass, such as dishonesty, lack of empathy, or lack of integrity. This recognition will allow you to be honest about why you are settling for less because it's NOT the worst you have experienced.
Folks who don't have boundaries will never respect your limits, no matter how often you voice them. You are preaching to the wrong crowd in the wrong room.
Folks that try to gossip about other people to you gossip about you to different people.
You're not just raising the bar when you learn to be alone and deeply explore your sense of self, identity, and wisdom outside of friendship, community, or intimacy. You're creating a whole new foundation where the future meets the current you as a foundation where connections and reciprocations are of the highest quality, enriching your entire existence.
So stop tolerating & start choosing yourself.
Your foundation can be rebuilt as often as you need when you need to rise above toleration.
It is always better to be surrounded by those who reflect your standards than to continue compromising yourself by tolerating all that does not reflect the authentic you.
You come to know you are authentic by changing your foundation.